can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My ass is underappreciated
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
