Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
