I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
