I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
