two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
