he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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