I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
