just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
