i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
