That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
