My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
