Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
