he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
tonight lets celebrate not being married
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Randomize
