U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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