Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
