ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
