One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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