What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
