I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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