return my video game
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Michael Bay diarrhea
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
