I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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