Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
