My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
