i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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