Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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