it wasn't lemon gatorade
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
