In the future we'll all be gay
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
