i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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