i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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