The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
