worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
