Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
