So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
