Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You don't make any sense
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