Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just gargled with NyQuil
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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