Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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