What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
