24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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