What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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