i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
