Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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