My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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