I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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