Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
