I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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