Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
