What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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