She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
