We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
