Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
