yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
