Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I can text with my tongue
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
